Divorcing with children: Helping your kids adapt

No divorce is without its complications, and if you have children, you know that your divorce is immediately more complicated than if you didn't. Not only do you need to adjust and take care of yourself, but you also have to help your children adjust to changes in your life.

Helping children adjust doesn't have to be difficult, but there are some things you need to do to make the transition as simple as possible. Here are three helpful tips for getting your kids through divorce.

1. Educate your child on divorce

To start with, you need to talk to your child about divorce and what it means for your family. What happens to others isn't necessarily what will happen in your case, so make sure your child understands the possible living arrangements and desires of both parents involved. If your child is very young, it's important to discuss divorce in an age-appropriate manner, so your child understands that he or she is supported despite changes in routine.

2. Take time for your child

Both you and your spouse should make time for your child and activities that do not involve the divorce. For example, if your child has been eager to see a movie, plan a weekend where you see a movie and spend time together. When too much of your focus is on the divorce, it's easy to forget about a child's wants and desires as you work toward providing necessities. Keep in mind that your child needs to have support, and spending time together is part of that.

3. Talk about fault

To have a good discussion with your child about divorce, you'll need to discuss fault. Essentially, your goal should be to take fault out of the equation. What happened between you and your spouse is not your child's burden to bear, and you should make sure that your child is aware that he or she is not the person to blame for these changes, either. No one is truly at fault for most divorces, but even if someone is more to blame, it's a good idea to make sure your child takes no part in the "blame game." Work out your problems with your spouse on your own and focus on making your child feel supported.

These are three tips to help you help your child through divorce. With proper support, any child can adjust to the changes headed his way.

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