Getting divorced can be tough. After all, you have to try to find a way to untangle your life from your spouse’s and figure out how to address important legal issues like child custody and property division, all while you try to cope with the emotional realities of your situation. Your spouse’s personality and approach toward the matter can make the situation worse, too. They may be flippant and uncaring, or they might shut down and refuse to communicate with you. While these characteristics can be challenging to deal with, you may find yourself struggling even more if you’re divorcing a narcissist.
What is a narcissist?
A narcissist is an individual who has an inflated sense of self-worth and has a fascination with obtaining admiration for themselves. These individuals tend to think that others are inferior to them, which can drive them to belittle others in their communications. If you’ve been married to a narcissist, you probably know that they also tend to lack empathy.
Tips for getting through a divorce from a narcissist
Given the challenges in communicating with a narcissist, you might struggle to think about how you’re going to get through your divorce. You might even think that you should rush through your marriage dissolution to avoid contact as much as possible. But don’t do that. It can put your interests at risk. Instead, consider each of the following tips as you navigate your divorce:
- Make sure agreements are put in writing: Narcissists tend to say whatever is needed to win an argument. This includes lying about statements that were previously made. So, if your spouse promises you something in divorce, don’t believe it until you have it in writing so that you’re in a better position to enforce that promise.
- Pick your battles: When you’re dealing with a narcissist, anything and everything can be a battle. You don’t want to waste your time and energy fighting over everything. Therefore, it’s wise for you to think through what you’re able to let go and what is important enough to fight for.
- Think about how you can let your spouse win: You obviously don’t want to let your spouse succeed in taking things away from you during the divorce process, but by letting your spouse win arguments that aren’t that important to you, you might be able to deflate some of the tension and increase your chances of winning other arguments.
- Seek out support: If you’re divorcing a narcissist, you’re in for quite a fight. It can be stressful and overwhelming, leaving you feeling drained and hopeless. But there is a bright future ahead of you, which is why you might benefit from some support as you try to navigate your divorce. Friends and family members can be helpful here, but don’t overlook the value of a mental health professional, too.
Are you ready to fight for what you deserve?
Before heading into your divorce, you need to be fully prepared. This means thoroughly analyzing the legal issues that you’re about to face, crafting persuasive legal arguments, and knowing how to frame the issues so that you stand a better chance of success. This takes some legal know-how, but you can get that form an experienced family law professional.
So, if you’re ready to fight for what you deserve in your marriage dissolution, now may be the time for you to reach out to a legal team that you think is right for you.
